A week or so ago I wrote about how I would write down my life altering speeches of advice. Well, here is that first post. What started as a Twitter joke among friends mixed with me trying to get back to my bubbly self (winter weather really brings me down) has been a huge hit among my followers so it is now my first “advice” post. Enjoy.
Everyone wants to be happy, and everyone gets in those ruts where nothing seems to be going right and you’re just, well, miserable. What helps a lot of people to get out of that bad place is remembering these 12 Steps that I am currently trying to live by. With a little help from my friends, especially Samantha Spieller for help on Steps 8 & 9, I was able to compile a list. Here are the steps to getting happy (or staying happy):
Step 1 – Don’t sweat the things people say who don’t particularly have your best interest in mind.
Because it just doesn’t matter!! This goes back to the playground days. You are always going to have the people who just don’t like you, even if you’re basically the most like-able person in town. These people are going to try to bring you down and rain on your parade. Just don’t let them! I know it’s impossible to ignore the negative things that are said about you, but push them to the side and remember the good things. Screen shot them and reread them if you have to. You are a great person, it is their character that should be judge for their actions. Now if your friends start saying things, you might to re-evaluate something in life.
Step 2 – Surround yourself with positive, “go get ‘em” people who also want the best for you.
If you want to do great things with your life, surround yourself with people who want you to do great things. This will also help with making those connections you may need down the road. If people tell you that you can’t do something, prove them wrong. Find your motivators.
Step 3 – Do what makes you happy, not what others want you to do.
There are always those people who are telling you to do things or what would be “better”. Yes, do listen because sometimes they are right. But, is that advice going to make you happy? Always pick the road that will give you the joy and excitement that you deserve. Pick the roads that you want to take, not what is being told to you by the GPS, because they sometimes get you lost.
Step 4 – Be independent.
This is basically straight forward. No one like that clingy person who give you no room to breath. Be able to do things on your own. Even if you have a significant other, have time for yourself as well. You’re an individual, you can do things for yourself.
Step 5 – Find someone who loves you, even at your worst.
You can find someone that loves you when you love yourself. The key is finding someone who loves you when you might not be your own biggest fan. They need to be your motivation and help you through those tough times that you can’t seem to get out of on your own. You should do the same in return for them. Even though you’re an independent individual as said in Step 4, everyone needs a companion. Have someone in your corner even when you’re losing.
Step 6 – Keep your friends close.
Duh, don’t let those people who know you best slip through the cracks of life. You may not need fifty friends, but a handful of them can do wonders for your life. Make sure they are trustworthy and suit your life. Forget the saying keep your enemies closer, this isn’t a battle ground.
Step 7 – Be positive even when things appear to be negative.
Even when the tough gets tougher, look at it as building your character. How you act in these situations can make or break a person. If you look at the bright side, you can easily pull through with your best. People also rather having friends who can see the sun in the dark.
Step 8 – Take things one day at a time.
Now I am not saying don’t plan for the future, but do not stress about things that have not happened yet! worry when they are knocking at your doorstep. Time management is key to success, doing what needs to be done today is the best way to succeed.
Step 9 – Don’t stress about the future.
This an almost repeat of Step 9, but I see it in a different light. If you stress about the far future (such as what is happening a few months down the road) you will never enjoy today. Carpe Diem – live it, love it, abide by it.
Step 10 – Don’t live with regret.
Justify things. Even if you want to kick your own behind for not doing something, or doing something, don’t. Instead, look at it as a stepping stone to what is molding your future. Just don’t let it happen again if the same opportunity arises.
Step 11 – Take the road more traveled.
Not hating on Robert Frost or anything, but why make your life harder? No one likes unmapped territory. You don’t need to live a simple life, but look at how others got to where you want to go and make it your own!
Step 12 – Be yourself.
This is probably the most important step. If you can’t let your personality show through, then you can never find that happiness you seek for. If people cannot accept who you are under your skin, you probably were never actually that great of friends. Be true to not only yourself, but to the world.
Now that you have gotten to read though it, how do you feel? Can you live a happy life by following these steps? Untangle your spiderweb of a life and focus on the right now.
–Your’s truly, j.r.